I am completely crushed this couple of days, Yes, I lost, my one and only reason to dream. I never got back at the regional stage thus, my heart aches. I want to cry so bad, but I only got dry tears, however my heart is completely destroyed.

I’m disoriented. I try to review the lessons I missed. However, my mind rejects it, and profusely wants me to keep on writing and taking pictures.

I want to break down and cry, throw my paper and pen, this is what I live for, this is how I got through in every year of my high school years, hoping to get the chance, I get to be where others don’t deserve to be.

But sadly, the truth intoxicates me, I refuse to see reality, I’m no writer, nor a journalist, I’m only a dreamer, in a never ending nightmare of failures, goals that are crushed with every dream I try to reach.

Sadly, I never found my forte, I thought these last 6 years of my life I was doing what I do best, sadly, I wasted my time. I went through hell! Sleepless nights and my hand sore and literally bled from writing. I didn’t stop there.

I drew, even though I faced the fact that i’m not an artist. I went through editing even though I know that sheer logic dictates I will lose. I challenged myself to get better, they say I did, but for me, I got worse.

I lost every competition, my title taken away from me and before i knew it. My role and soul purpose slipped away. I am drained, I have nothing left. I have nothing to lose but I still lost. AND IT FEELS LIKE CRAP!

UPCAT

its Tuesday?Wednesday?Thursday... oh, time for me to get some sleep, seriously. the UPCAT is on Saturday and yeah i got so busy so i didn't blog for a month, well this is the deciding test, if I pass i salvaged a part of my dignity if I fail, I will regret this for the rest of my natural boring and miserable life. OMG

I applied for four schools, University of the Philippines, De La Salle University, Ateneo De Manila University and University of Santo Tomas. let me pass the four PLEASE.. :) but if i pass UNIVERSITY OF THE PHILIPPINES MANILA CAMPUS I WOULD BE VERY GRATEFUL,..pray for me guys :)

back to zero

hell yeah!! its time for school.... SENIOR YEAR IS GONNA ROCK!!! 1st week of preparatory military training.... the favorite word is.... "DROP" lol
uhh, no... :) actually school starts on monday, and i just enrolled last last week and i picked up my chair yesterday... i got IV A SCIENCE 1 chair... yaaaay!!
Oh, and I actually had a facial this afternoon, and my face hurts, when they prick out those blackheads, its feels like a needle is poking my face...and they did that less then a hundred times... so I was like... ouch?!
and i am typing this blog bare-naked because i like the feeling... just joking... :D, mostly..
you guys remember that I was waiting for a friend request, well she accepted my request and I am stalking her even more... joke... i think... lol
and of course I made a tumbler account... *applause* and NO i'm not quitting blogger...
SO i realized this, our grades are back to zero,.. and yes I am planning to be an honor roll this quarter, I am even reviewing for calculus right now... barenaked... lol

so i'm gonna be BUSY THIS MONTH

peacout ;P

ENROLLMENT and STALKING

tomorrow i'll go to school and inquire for the enrollments BECAUSE... i'm not updated, lol so yeah, the next day is the enrollment so i'm gonna see my freakin classmates again *yay* well not really, i just want to see maybe a dozen of them, i dont really care bout the others but, oh well.
So my review ended yesterday and i watched shrek 4... i love the music they got for the movie... LSS "winter spring summer or fall, all you've got to do is call" haha... btw for all the newbies LSS is Last Song Syndrome.
And i got my new phone!!! FUCK YEAH!! its the new smart phone from samsung, OMNIA LITE... i know here in our country you cant use a smart phone if your not an expert in the computer.... GOOD THING I am
NOOOWW i also got my application form for the University of the Philippines. so yeahm i'll try taking an exam for BA philosophy and sociology for my pre-law... and b the way LAW is not that expensive here in our country... :) idk why maybe because the country needs more lawyers because it is a crap hole of drunk bastard corrupt politicians.
if your asking why i did'nt take pre-law as a course it's because there is no such thing in our country.
so thats what happened.... oh... and i found out the name of someone i have been following for some time... hope she approves me in facebook... fingers crossed

yay*sarcastic*,... SUMMER IS ALMOST OVER

yep, summer is almost officially over, though i would like it to be over.(that's kinda weird for a student, but i'm no ordinary student XD). I would like to start school again and see a few of my classmates but the fact i want to go to school is to learn more for the UPCAT.
haha, yeah UPCAT. I wanna LEARN. haha... motivated to the max, i know i'm like a broken record about the test for UP, but I REALLY WANNA PASS.
So, I asked Bosco for a boost... and bosco helped me, thank you don bosco, haha. I learned alot, i think my math skills really leveled up. Though I need help with my slopes and geometry. right, mathematics... AAAGHHH
Though I leveled up in math, I SO OWNED ENGLISH, yeah... haha, I love my english class
Recently, we just started Science and I am trying hard not to sleep because the AC is cranked up directly at me.
Of course i picked up a few things too

• voulez vous couchez avec moi ce soir? Will you sleep with me tonight? haha... oh yeah

• tip in UP Diliman Campus...
  

  "Dont oogle over Oble, you might end up looking like a pervert. [and
  no, the "leaf" does not come off]."

• The UP yell

"unibersidad ng pilipinas..matatapang..matatalino..walang takot khit kanino! hinding hindi magpapahuli...ganyan kaming mga taga-UP!"

• and I always use the TAE method in math even though its not multiple choice... haha

Hence, this will be my last summer, the several following summers will be just STUD, STUDY AND STUDY. (hopefully in UP) :)



PEACE OUT <3>

MY BLOGS SUCK

ELections draw near and my favorite candidate is being pummeled by black propagandas and different controversies. I give him props of being strong and not backing down and still having the lead.

I will defend Sen. Noynoy Aquino of Manny Pacquiao saying "yung iba naman jan walang nagawa"

here is your list

As a congressman, Noynoy Aquino voted yes for the Clean Air Act, the Retail Trade Liberalization Act, the Home Guarantee Corporation Act, the General Banking Law, the Electronic Commerce Act, the Ecological Solid Waste Management Act, the Anti-Money Laundering Act, the Rental Reform Act, the Government Procurement Reform Act, the Tobacco Regulation Act, the Judicial Compensation Act, Sin Taxes, the RVAT Law, the Juvenile Justice Act, the Act Prohibiting the Imposition of the Death Penalty, and the Anti-Red Tape Act.

As senator he voted for the Cheaper Medicines Act, Personal Equity Retirement Account Act, Credit Information Act, and Renewable Energy Act, as well as the Food and Drug Administration Act, the Climate Change Act, the Pre-Need Code, and the Customs Broker Act Amendments.

Those are just some of the many laws he voted on.

I expect many of the readers will hate me and I will eventually be on their bad side.

However, as a person I cannot be hated for having my own opinon, in which i stand by. I remember a time in which, I was called out to the class to discuss my blog, in which, up until now I don't think I did anything wrong. Of course you cannot control yourself if you have reached your limit, but I did it in a peaceful way of not getting physical on them but pouring my hatred and amputating my bad feelings onto my blog.

What still bothers me, is that, some of my classmates still brings it up, thinking that I am the one with the fault, but I already want to forget it. The mental trauma being called up in front of the class is being revived. This already labeled me, which I do not like, and never will. I still hide the fact that every time someone brings it up, I get the feeling I am being labeled, and they think of me as an outcast. I try to turn the frown, but I still have a hard time forgetting about it.

I may not be have the greatest writing ability but I still try, I admit I have a flaw of being outspoken and always having an opinion, but it's human nature. I just try to blend in, but now I see that if I blend in means revoking my opinion, then I will stick out like a sore thumb. I appreciate and respect others opinion so why don't you respect mine?

Shoe Mart

hello, this is my original account in blogger, though I already made an account last time but i hope this account can be a bit more, um... popular? LOL

Anyway, this week has been, not really ordinary but not bizarre. First thing is first, I found out some tips on the entrance exam to a university I really want to go, okay its UP, (University of the Philippines). I really didn't imagine myself as a UP student until last year, I found out many of the upperclassmen passed and of course just the fact that you passed the UPCAT means your smart, how about being a UP scholar, now that's genius. So I surfed the net many times for reviewers, tips, blogs, forums, etc. and now, I am really depressed. The fact that UP is getting your passing score from your grade from freshman to junior really knocked me hard! So that's why I am depressed.

Second, from the first,I really need to give up many things so I can pass, so that's why I deleted my Warcraft III: frozen throne folder in my laptop so that i can focus on studying. Actually i'm deleting it right now..,

Third, I just made my summer wish true, I COLORED MY HAIR!!! well, cellophane is much more accurate. My hair's highlights are brown, because I was always jealous that my sister's hair has brown highlights which is natural, and also, to hide the fact that my hair isn't exactly straight without the help of a blow dryer, comb, and hair iron.

and lastly, I just went to our city's new mall, Shoe Mart, so yeah I've been to a lot of branches including Mall of Asia which by now I think I have memorized every inch. But I am loving the fact that I am only an hour away if I want to buy original items like shirt,pants,shoes, brief, boxers, spray, hair dryer (addicted to hair), and my favorite... Starbucks coffee.

so yeah, that's how my week went... anyway, great to be back at blogger... peacout


- chaoscontrol :)